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My girl was a montage

I used to have this one friend that I  really wanted to be closed to so much and I think it did kind of happen the way I wanted it to be except for the fact that most parts of our relationship were long distance ones and there was no way of changing that except if one of us happened to be moving to other person's school which apparently did not happen hence this story is told. Our friendship felt like eternity ago and like any other relationships with no commonality to share anymore, it gradually faded away. And no one had ever made it clear enough how friendship breakup could really hurt and change you especially when it occurred with no fight, no bad blood whatsoever. 


I used to think about her everyday. Nowadays, she comes to mind every now and then. 


About a month ago, my mum had asked me to accompany her to a trip with her friends and I reluctantly followed her - reluctant because I am not even good at socialising with people around my age and based on my observation, older people don't really like me either for this reason. We went there with a bus in the morning and returned back home at night. 


I don't know if it is just me or this feeling is universal but I often feel like this sudden melancholia when I am on a night bus. To be honest, this feeling can very much attaches itself to any parts of my life, but somehow the flashbacks of her always plays back again like a slow-paced film in my head - of her being next to me when we were on that bus, of us having conversations which my memory had failed to retrieve the content yet still made me smiled regardless. Of her sharing her love for mathematics and me quietly geeking out because not so many people around me talked about maths like that for the fear of being called nerdy.  Of her running towards me from behind and clasped her hand into mine so that could we walk together to board the bus. 


Midnight rain by taylor swift had again rekindled the memories of her again especially the lines that go:


My boy was a montage 

A slow-motion, love potion


My girl is indeed like a montage to me -  pieces of my life that are scarce hence precious, which are too few and short to make a movie of that I should be just satisfied with just a montage of her. 


It is funny how such distant recollections of someone can still live strongly in one's mind. It is funnier how the passing time has robbed their face from your head that you end up trying to make a picture out of them again but who can tell for sure that is them you are picturing. 


Nonetheless, when I think of her now, I hope nothing but the best for her. Of course there will be trials and pain, but I sincerely hope her happiness and success will be much larger than the former two. Nothing but genuine love for my ex-roommate and bus mate. 


Forever my girl. 


My first girl crush. 


And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

Seven, Taylor Swift

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